Yesterday, as my mother and I were travelling to the trailer, we were discussing my failed marriage. Good travelling topic and one to get me just a little hyped up. Anyhow, one thing led to another and we got to discussing how little support I got from the church I was attending at the time. My ex and I went for counselling and I was told how I could change to get him to stay home instead of philandering. I left that church when we split, and he and his girlfriend continued to go there and the church never, to my knowledge, ever addressed the fact that he had cheated on his wife and family and how inappropriate it was for him to be living with this woman.
I have since that time attended another church, but I have not felt like I was in fellowship there. I mean, I could walk in and walk out without anyone knowing I was present. It has been a disappointment in many ways, but I stayed because the sermons were great and I enjoyed the praise music. Recently, however, my brother and his wife were having issues with one of the congregants of my church and they went to the pastoral staff for assistance in mediating a solution. They were basically told that the church would not pick sides, but that they believed the congregant's version of events.
My problem with all this is that I'm not seeing churches (i.e. the body of believers) who are getting close enough to each other to see when a member is hurting or one who is really struggling with their walk. Why is it that I have not been at this church for many months now and nobody has called to see if I'm okay or alive? I was even in a life group, and the members of that group haven't noticed I'm missing either (or if they have, they haven't let on that they have).
We are working so hard at bringing people to Christ and into our churches, but are we seeing when they are in need of encouragement? Are we doing life together or are we all just marching to our own drum?
I dunno, perhaps I'm just a cynic, but I am seeking a church that not only has solid biblical teaching, but has a strong component of fellowship. We need strong leaders in these churches who will hold their congregants accountable. We also need other believers to do life with and to hold each other accountable.
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7 comments:
I have to agree with you there, Ange. It's been near impossible to find a really good church here that encompasses all of that. We'll just have to keep praying about it, and rest assured that we'll be praying for you too about this issue.
From what I can tell, most churches are pragmatic and focus their success on the number of new members or adherants versus the actual Spiritual impact that they have in the community. That is, as long as my church as over 1000 people attending each week, we must be successful. Yet, that church may only have a handful of actual followers of Christ. The rest are there for the warm fuzzy feelings they get when they are interacting with happy people.
I dunno... the church is just a bunch of sinners saved by grace. As part of that church I am the bride of Christ as is everyone else in it. If I look for the errors in the church I can find a zillion of them. I'm trying to overlook those and love the people to pieces because... I'm stuck with them for eternity!!! AAANNNNDDD they are a part of me.
Yes, but consider the parable of the shepherd who lost one sheep. Shouldn't the church body be concerned if someone goes missing? That, truly, is my point. Many churches (not all) do not know their congregants well enough to even notice they're missing.
Now, if the church does notice, approaches the congregant, and the congregant still chooses to leave, that is a different story; but, to just let them go wandering seems, to me, to be missing the point of fellowship. They very well may not be there because they need someone to talk to and they're not getting it in their present surroundings.
On the point of a church full of sinners, this is true. However, as a body of believers, we are trying to work together and turn away from our sins. It is not about accepting the sin, but about forgiving the sin as we move toward being Christ like. (not that we will ever achieve that.)
I guess I know that I often miss opportunities to encourage or call others in the church too. Do I put myself out for others the way I would like to people to do for me?? I can't expect everyone to act the way I want them too when I don't act the way I want too. Do you make a point to call those who miss as well?? When we turn it back on ourselves and realize our own failings, it suddenly humbles us. Take what you think is missing in your church and try with the Lords help to fill that gap! All of a sudden what you feel is missing... you won't miss.
Am I making any sense or just rambling like a lunatic??
One more thing... when you write, it seems that you are distancing yourself from the church. You are a wonderful, energetic and necessary part of the church. You don't need to immerse yourself in the church.. you have been grafted in by the master of the vineyard. Distancing yourself will only "stunt your growth". Enjoy the people that you meet at your place of worship. There are many there that would love to get to know you and don't know how to let you know... or don't think you would like to know them. Forget the statistics and meet the wonderful people of God. Yeah, this is your cousin who has learned a lot about this lately. I'm really loving the church lately.
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